


heights

by ThisKwamiNeeds_aNap



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Angst, Ba Sing Se, Book 2, Canon Compliant, Complicated Relationships, Depression, F/F, Food mention, Jealousy, Missing Scene, Pining, Trust Issues, brief mention of azula, even briefer vague mention of zuko, homoerotic parkour, mai being emo and repressing her emotions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-07
Updated: 2020-09-07
Packaged: 2021-03-07 04:42:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,821
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26347300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThisKwamiNeeds_aNap/pseuds/ThisKwamiNeeds_aNap
Summary: "Mai wasn't scared of heights... But it was easier to imagine that she was. Playing the coward was a thousand times less terrifying than admitting that anythingelsewas making her stomach twist in knots."Written for the prompt"Oh oh if you’re still doing mailee prompts can we get some pining mai during their undercover Kyoshi phase? I always loved the scene where they’re taking their make up off together , maybe some domestic fluff when they’re all living together in the ba sing se"from @lesbianbow on Tumblr
Relationships: Mai/Ty Lee (Avatar)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 33





	heights

**Author's Note:**

> Author’s Note: Thank you so much for the prompt! This is so much angstier than what you asked for, but it was really fun to write. I love these two so much.

Mai wasn’t afraid of heights. 

The steep slope of the roof didn’t phase her. Neither did the speed she was running at. The clouds obscuring the moon weren’t even an inconvenience.

She liked to know what challenges she was up against, and the distance to the ground was completely real. She could appreciate that

It was much more tangible than the spinning gravity she'd felt when Ty Lee had pulled her aside, with a brilliant smile that hid anything underneath, and spoke low enough that even the Dai Li agents infesting the palace couldn’t hear. Ty Lee had linked arms with her, setting Mai on edge, despite the thick armor-dress sleeves between them, and quickly muttered something about a teashop, and a person she had seen through the window, and-

No, Mai wasn’t scared. But it was easier to imagine she was scared of heights. Playing the coward was thousand times less terrifying than admitting that anything _else_ was making her stomach twist in knots. So she focused on the risk of falling, and the consequences of slipping. It was still more comfortable than thinking about where she was going, or why Ty Lee had told her in the first place.

“We shouldn’t be up here…” Mai mumbled, stopping to lean against a pillar. She wasn’t sure if she’d been talking to herself or not, but Ty Lee turned around anyway. 

Her braid whipped through the air as she moved with complete grace, going from a run to a standstill faster than Mai could blink. 

Mai felt sweat drip down her neck, even though the sun had long gone down. She ignored whatever burning cold emotion flooded through her bloodstream. 

It was so dark that Mai could barely see. Yet, as always, Ty Lee demanded to be noticed. The heavy makeup covering her entire face somehow still glittered, and she rested a hand on her hip. Even though Mai couldn’t see Ty Lee’s smirk, she could sense that it was there.

“Why not? Are you scared of heights?” Ty Lee’s voice was dripping with concern. It was probably fake. 

No, it was definitely fake. 

But then the clouds shifted, and Ty Lee was chewing on her lip in worry — fake worry — and her eyes were so wide — because it was pitch black, Of course they were dilated — and — Mai’s thoughts needed to shut up immediately, before she plummeted down a dangerous path. She was already far too shivery and numb.

“Yes.” Mai said, like the lying coward she was. “I hate heights.”

“Oh.” Ty Lee turned around, gazing toward the blurry clouds.She stretched, tugging one of her legs behind her neck while she stood on the tip-toes of the other. Mai took in her silhouette, so immediately recognizable and familiar. She shoved some feeling deep into her gut before she could think too much about it. 

“Do you want me to hold your hand?” she asked playfully.

“No.” Mai said reflexively, trying to turn off her thoughts before-

Too late. 

Ty Lee was looking directly at her, glowing in the moonlight. Waves of painful need crashed down around Mai, dragging her down.

Mai’s ears hurt and her chest ached and she felt like she was plunging into an abyss. She wished she could plunge into a more literal abyss. She’d much rather deal with falling off of the roof than... whatever this emotion was.

“Alright,” Ty Lee said, just as cheerful as always, even though Mai was sure that she knew more than she let on. “Did you want to climb down? Or...”

“I’m fine,” Mai snapped, even though it was obvious to both of them that she was lying. “Let’s just keep going.”

Ty Lee tilted her head like she was trying to figure something out. Why wouldn’t she move already?

“You haven’t always been afraid of heights, though, right?”

Ty Lee crouched down on her the balls of her feet. She wasn’t exactly giggling, but the tone of her voice made it sound almost like laughter. Her stupid carefree mask didn’t waver as she leaned in to look at Mai, eyes wide and searching.

She had gotten closer; too close. Mai could hear Ty Lee’s steady breathing and feel the heat radiating from her body. She fought the impulse to shove Ty Lee away from her. Mostly because that would send Ty Lee over the edge of the rooftop, and give Mai even more issues to deal with.

“Because there was that one time- Oh! nevermind.” Ty Lee giggled, and the sound made Mai’s grip on the wall tighten. She switched to a stage-whisper, like she was letting Mai in on a secret. ”I forgot you weren’t there. You probably would’ve talked us out of it.” 

Like usual, Mai had no idea how she felt about anything that was happening.

The “we” and “us” definitely meant Azula. Ty Lee didn’t like to say the princess’s name when she wasn’t around. Mai didn’t read into it. She had already gotten enough headaches trying to figure out why Ty Lee did anything.

And she really didn’t want to think about Azula right now. Or about Azula and Ty Lee being together. Or about whatever had happened. Or why Ty Lee was so sure that Mai would disapprove.

“It’s good that I wasn’t there to stop you, then.” Mai said, her voice low and monotone. Ty Lee’s mouth twitched, and it was impossible to know if she was upset, or laughing, or any number of other things. Mai didn’t care to think about it. She wasn’t trying to get another headache.

“Yeah.” Ty Lee said. She stopped bouncing up and down for a second, but her smile didn’t flicker. Mai could tell because her nose was still inches away from Mai’s face.

“Oh!” Ty Lee darted upright in a blur, staring at something in the distance. Mai was left feeling dizzy and cold. Ty Lee seemed to have already forgotten her. She was making “pspsps” noises at something in the shadows, and suddenly a ball of white fur tackled her. 

“Mai, look who I found!”

It was impossible to see in the dark, and the creature climbing Ty Lee’s shoulders was too fast to get a good look anyway, but the chittering noises were unmistakable. 

“Is that the avatar’s lemur?”

Ty Lee just giggled, and reached into her pockets.

“Hi Momo,” she said. Mai could hear the enormous smile in her voice as she dug some fruit out of the enormous pockets of her dress. Mai wasn’t even surprised that she was carrying them. The Kyoshi Warriors had such big pockets, it would be a waste not to fill them up. Mai had already stuffed hers with knives, food, and random other things she found.

“Are you hungry, baby? Awwww, yes you are. What a cutie you are. Did you know you’re a cutie?” 

Mai was definitely not jealous of a _lemur_. That would be weird, and pathetic, and- yeah, she was totally screwed. Maybe she’d appreciate feelings more if she ever had normal emotions. Instead she was stuck wishing that she was the wild animal that was currently shoveling figs into his mouth as Ty Lee scratched his ears. 

She wasn’t sure if this was a step up or a step down from feeling jealous of _Azula_. 

She _was_ sure that she didn’t want to think about that, though. Or about the way that Ty Lee hung off of Azula’s shoulder. Or about the two of them doing something involving heights and not telling Mai about it. Or-

Yeah, it was definitely time to stop thinking.

“Here, Mai. Do you want to feed him?” Ty Lee’s fingertips brushed Mai’s as she pressed half a fig into her hand. Instantly, Mai’s entire arm was on fire. She sighed to distract herself from the shooting pain.

“No.” Mai said. Unfortunately, Ty Lee just shrugged, and didn’t move to take it back. Which was upsetting, because Mai had to keep holding the sticky fruit. 

Not because of anything else. 

She didn’t want Ty Lee to touch her again. 

She _didn’t._

After a minute, Momo curled up into a ball at Ty Lee’s feet, and then Ty Lee laid down next to him, to keep petting him, propping herself up with her elbows. 

Mai wished that she could have Ty Lee’s level of control. She never had any idea what that girl was thinking, or how she was feeling. She didn’t even know how _she_ was feeling half the time, but despite her best efforts, people kept reading her like a book. 

It seemed like Ty Lee knew Mai’s emotions better than Mai did, which was awful for so many reasons.

It would be nice to control how much the world saw of her. Or at least, to not have all of her thoughts broadcasted to Ty Lee. Especially times like now, when Ty Lee was radiating warmth and cooing at the sleeping lemur. Mai didn’t know exactly what emotion she was feeling, but she knew enough to pray that Ty Lee couldn’t see through her.

Finally, Ty Lee turned back to Mai, much quieter than before. 

“Did you want to head back, or…”

“We can stay here.” Mai said. Her voice was more gravelly than she expected.

“And after that? Do you want to keep going? Or do you want to go back to the palace?” Ty Lee’s voice seemed so full of concern. How did she make it sound so real?

“Let’s just stay here.” Mai said, much more firmly. It wasn’t an answer. She knew it wasn’t an answer. But she _couldn’t_ make a choice right now. Not with Ty Lee’s fake smile finally gone, replaced with a soft contemplative (also fake) expression. Not with Ty Lee’s silvery eyes piercing straight through her and reading her mind, or worse, her heart.

“Okay.” Ty Lee said, gently bending her spine until her feet rested by her ears, though she was still laying on her stomach. How, or if, she was comfortable, Mai had no idea. 

Ty Lee hummed. “The stars are really pretty.” 

“I don’t like heights.” Mai said impulsively. Ty Lee blinked at her.

“Do you want to climb down?”

“No.” Mai said. It wasn’t a lie, but it wasn’t the truth either. Ty Lee probably understood better than Mai did.

“We can walk back through the streets if you’d be more comfortable.”

“No, I’m fine.” Mai said. “I don’t want to move.” 

They’d just had this conversation, hadn’t they? Mai couldn’t remember.

It was quiet for a full minute, but Mai's heart still wasn't prepared when Ty Lee nodded with a soft hum.

They both settled against the ground, staring at the cloudy sky. Did Ty Lee revel in the cover of the clouds, too? Could she feel how much was hanging in the air, unsaid?

Mai let the silence creep back in, and it stayed for a long time.

**Author's Note:**

> As always, thank you for reading <3 
> 
> please leave a kudos and a comment to give me validation and strength


End file.
